Dating for 3 years and no proposal is indeed a dilemma. While there is no specific timeline in a relationship for getting married, three years is not a short time. You may start wondering if your partner did not waste your time all this time or where the relationship will go.
- 1 Find Out What’s Holding Him Back
- 2 Finance and family matter
- 3 Too comfortable with the current state
- 4 He doesn’t want to get married.
- 5 Communicate Your Thoughts Well
- 6 Don’t Press or Even Threaten Him.
- 7 Why Don’t You Propose First?
- 8 After Everything And Still a No, Maybe It’s Time to Walk Away
Find Out What’s Holding Him Back
There are many variables why he never brings up marriage or even dodges every time you try to talk about it. The reasons may vary on individuals, but here are the most common ones:
Finance and family matter
Finance is often a factor in deciding the marriage, even though it does not always become the biggest problem. Following finance, family matters can’t be disregard easily. Find out if his family has something against your relationship or whether they have some other issues.
Too comfortable with the current state
When you’re dating for a long time, you and your partner may be too comfortable with each other. He might be liking the current relationship so much to the point of disregarding the marriage idea. Another possibility, he doesn’t want to mess up the current good relationship with the thought of marriage.
He doesn’t want to get married.
This may be heartbreaking, but you couldn’t overlook the possibility of him doesn’t want the same thing. He might not be fond of the marriage idea or serious commitment and want to keep dating. If that’s the case, well, you need to rethink the whole relationship.
Communicate Your Thoughts Well
If you want to get married to him, talk it out. Tell him what you want in this relationship, even better if you make sure since the early stage. It might be hard to bring this matter up, but that’s what you need to do to sort things out.
Aside from telling him what you want, it would help if you also listened from his side. Ask directly what’s holding him back if you really couldn’t figure it out. Then discuss whether you two can work on those matters and looking for the best solution.
Don’t Press or Even Threaten Him.
While it’s nice to communicate well in the previous part, we all know it’s not as easy as it seems. He might exhaust you up during the talk, which is natural because of the clash and different points of view. But please, try not to press or even threaten him.
Making him marry you just because he’s feeling pressured to do so won’t give a good outcome, especially in the future. He might be doing it because he has no choice or solely because you want to, not because he wants it to. This may lead to problems in your marriage, or even worse is divorce. Anything forced is never a good thing, anyway.
Why Don’t You Propose First?
Yep, you can do this. There is no law that a man must propose first. If you’re feeling sure and confident to get him married, go with it and propose to him. Rather than just wondering and waiting for him making action first, you should take the step.
If your partner loves you, really wants to marry you, he’ll be pleased. There is no way he will turn down your proposal.
After Everything And Still a No, Maybe It’s Time to Walk Away
If you already did everything you can and still have no progress in your relationship, maybe it’s time to walk away. Even after you go too far as proposing and he’s still dodging the marriage idea, that’s the signal of the finish line. You can pack and go out of his life.
It will be brutal and heartbreaking, of course. Especially when you’re thinking of the times you’re going through and the love you’ve shared. But it would be best if you decided what’s essential for you. Is it worthy of keeping going on uncertain relationships and wasting more time? Are you okay in a relationship with a man who doesn’t want a commitment? Are you okay to be a girlfriend forever?
When you turn your view on deciding what you dislike more, rather than what you like, you may get the answer. It’s your life, and you have the right to get the best. Be it the marriage or the man who deserves you.
And who knows? When you’re walking out of his life and pursuing a serious relationship, you might meet the right one.
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